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Ugly Biker
An ugly biker walks into his local pub with a
big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly bloke. "On my way home last night, I
noticed a young woman tied to the railway tracks, just like in the movies. I, of
course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, not to beat
about the bush, I scored big time!
We were at it all night, all over the house. We did everything, all over the
house, every position imaginable!"
"Wow!" exclaimed the barman rather jealously "You lucky bugger. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno...Never found the head."
Same Job
A mechanic was removing a
cylinder-head from the engine of a Harley when he spotted a famous cardiologist
in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look
at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey Doctor, come and
have a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorbike. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, "So Doctor, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.
So how come I earn a pittance while you get the really big bucks, cos you and I are doing basically the same work aren't we?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic................................ "Try doing it with the engine running."
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Heavy
Load
A biker stops by the local bike Shop to have
his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live
far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store
and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer
and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the
store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told
him that she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 93 Wentworth
Road?" The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 25 Wentworth Road.
I'd walk you home but I can't carry this lot." The old lady suggested, "Why
don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a
chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand?" "Why thank you
very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says, "Let's take my shortcut and go down this alley. We'll be
there in no time. "The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I
am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get
in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish
me?"
The biker said, "Just look at me lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two
chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the
wall and do that?"
The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
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